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We have a lifestyle and parenting philosophy that do not line up with the mainstream in society today.
There are lots of ladies at my La Leche League meeting that believe a lot of the same things I do about parenting. I also find kindred spirits on certain topics among homesteaders, ”green” folks, and the Attachment Parenting community. Conservative religious beliefs make me feel right at home with German Baptists, Mennonites, and some churches like Reformed Baptists.
Still, during the average trip to the grocery store, or church, or pretty much anywhere else, I find people who make very different choices. A lot of my life feels like I’m “swimming up-stream.”
Even the most secure person can benefit from a little validation, so I wanted to share a couple of incidents that happened recently that have really made my day(s).
Honorning God
We wear dresses all the time, so the difference may not be as clear-cut, but we are very big believers in putting on our “Sunday Best” to go to church. We honor the Lord by taking care to dress up for a visit to His house.
The last couple of weeks, Jewel has made some commentary about her wardrobe choices that warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes:
I’m going to wear my ‘pretty princess’ shoes, because I want to look pretty for God and make Him happy!
Wow! Some of it is sinking in…
Being Attached
Questions I hear far too often:Â
- “Why don’t you just leave them in the Nursery?”
- “Why don’t you put them in Preschool/Day-Care so you have some time to yourself?”
Well, just to hit a few of the high points, I don’t because:
- I prefer to allow my babies to retain their natural attachment to their mother.
- I believe in breastfeeding on demand.
- I choose not to hand over the right/responsibility for shaping my children’s character to someone else.
- Research shows that cortisol (stress hormone) inhibits brain development. No thanks!
People have a lot of wide-ranging opinions about the negative consequences of this, most of which are obviously not true.
For instance, “You’ll never be able to have a relationship with your husband” is proven untrue by the obvious fact that we have had more children. (*ahem*)
Some are more subtle, so harder to debate/defend on short notice. The most common ones are variations on a theme:
- “You’ll spoil them”
- “They need to learn how to be alone”
- “They’ll always be clingy / insecure”
- “You have to teach them to respect your needs”
Attachment Parenting philosophy, Bible teaching, and modern science, all dispute these notions. People cling to them, though, and – I believe – use them to justify what simply amounts to what they want for themselves.
Let me just tell you that for me, working in the church nursery has given me all the “evidence” I need that my way is NOT wrong. It breaks my heart sometimes…
But from the other side, I have been delighted lately to have had not one but several women who teach Jewel’s age group make a point of coming up and talking to me about her.
- “She’s always so happy!”
- “She’s an eager participant, and a delight to have in class!”
- “She never cries and makes a fuss when you drop her off.”
What a joy!Â
Of course, I’m not shy in pointing out that the reason she is so secure as a 4 year-old is because I made her feel secure as a 1 year-old, 2 year-old, and 3 year-old by never forcing her to stay alone in the nursery. She has a secure base from which to explore the world at her own pace, and trusts that I will always be there if there was a problem.
A little validation goes a long way…
A once-and-future full-time RV family shares their adventures - homeschooling, home business, life in an RV, Christian living, interesting travel and dining experiences, you name it...
