Life on the Road

I really do my best to obey the laws of the road. I’m a good Christian and I believe in obeying the laws. I don’t steal, or murder, or speed. (That’s actually a pet peeve of mine. They aren’t traffic suggestions, they are traffic laws. If you wouldn’t murder or steal, you shouldn’t speed… let’s put that soap box away.)

In early February of this year we were going to Chicago to pick up our RV. (Remind me to tell you more details later.) Driving thru some small town in Illinois we had to stop for gas. I was in the turn lane at a traffic signal and there were no signs for no u-turn, so I flipped around to go to a service station on the other side of the road. The officer (we now lovingly call him Deputy Dory) two cars behind me followed me around and pulled me over.
Have you ever seen Disney’s “Finding Nemo”? Well, Deputy Dory walked up to the car and asked, “Are you lost?”
“No,” I replied, “I’m just stopping for gas.”
“Are you lost?”, responded Deputy Dory. (Dory, … remember the fish that had no short term memory.)
“No,” again, “I’m just stopping for gas.”
“Where are you going?”
Yes, this is a true story.
“I’m going to get some gas.” At this point you start to wonder if you took that exit marked “the Twilight Zone”.

And the details are kinda’ lost from here as the conversation was a bit dizzying. It does appear that the law in Illinois, and a few other states, is no u-turn unless posted. In the other forty something states, it’s the other way round. You can make a u-turn unless it is posted no u-turn.
Deputy Dory said, “You made a u-turn back at that light.”
“Yea, I didn’t see any signs indicating no u-turn” I responded.
“You didn’t have your turn signal on.”
“I was in the turn only lane, I’m sorry.”
“I’m going to write you a warning for not using your signal.”
I guess it would have been OK if I had made an illegal u-turn with my signal on.

I then detailed the story of selling our house, going on the road to Chicago to get an RV, and going to visit my dad in Mississippi.
To which Deputy Dory said, “So, you’re going to Mississippi?”
Imagine the hands swinging in a circle and my index fingers pointing in the direction we were travelling. With slow and exaggerated enunciation, I replied, “No, I’m headed to Chicago to get an RV.”
“Did you buy it on eBay?”

“I’m miles from home, and I’m stuck with a fish who can’t even remember her own name…!”
“Boy, I’ll bet that’s frustrating.”

Deputy Dory will live on in infamy. Whenever anything happens that is strange we all ring out with “Are you lost?”

We have had lots of strange little incidents like this over the past few months on the road. Like the time we went … oh, I’ll tell you later.

Take comfort in the Lord.