Life on the Road

I didn’t discover Sonlight until Nick was in the eighth grade, and he was essentially an “only” as far as any sibling close enough in age to share interests or educational opportunities.

One of the great things about their setup is that a given curriculum can be used over a wide range of ages. You read a book (together or alone), then vary the depth of analysis and type of activities based on the child’s age.

I would like to find a way to combine my two “littles”, but I’m not sure how to start. Right now, Miss J is almost 5 and my littlest is just 2.

I can see how you could possibly combine over a 3 year spread later on – although even then that seems like a bit of a stretch… but how do you handle the beginnings?

J actively begs to “do school” already, and we are dabbling in things this year and will do some more next year. I bought a copy of the Weaver curriculum used, and I think we’ll wrk through that… Seems like a lot of fun books for both of them could be incorporated.

I’m not particularly worried about her age, “getting started”, or anything like that. I’m not an unschooler, but I do think it’s counterproductive to do busywork and stress about it with little ones. She’s really working on reading and writing, all on her own. Gee, ya think there’s A Plan in all this?

But R.T. isn’t remotely ready for anything like that yet. He’ll barely sit still and listen to a simple board book most of the time.

Typical little boy, no big deal… But not conducive to sharing “school” time with big sister.

Anyone done this and want to share some words of wisdom with me?

We have a lifestyle and parenting philosophy that do not line up with the mainstream in society today.

There are lots of ladies at my La Leche League meeting that believe a lot of the same things I do about parenting.  I also find kindred spirits on certain topics among homesteaders, ”green” folks, and the Attachment Parenting community.  Conservative religious beliefs make me feel right at home with German Baptists, Mennonites, and some churches like Reformed Baptists.

Still, during the average trip to the grocery store, or church, or pretty much anywhere else, I find people who make very different choices.  A lot of my life feels like I’m “swimming up-stream.”

Even the most secure person can benefit from a little validation, so I wanted to share a couple of incidents that happened recently that have really made my day(s).

Honorning God

We wear dresses all the time, so the difference may not be as clear-cut, but we are very big believers in putting on our “Sunday Best” to go to church.  We honor the Lord by taking care to dress up for a visit to His house.

The last couple of weeks, Jewel has made some commentary about her wardrobe choices that warmed my heart and brought tears to my eyes:

I’m going to wear my ‘pretty princess’ shoes, because I want to look pretty for God and make Him happy!

Wow!  Some of it is sinking in…

Being Attached

Questions I hear far too often: 

• “Why don’t you just leave them in the Nursery?”
• “Why don’t you put them in Preschool/Day-Care so you have some time to yourself?”

Well, just to hit a few of the high points, I don’t because:

• I prefer to allow my babies to retain their natural attachment to their mother.
• I believe in breastfeeding on demand.
• I choose not to hand over the right/responsibility for shaping my children’s character to someone else.
• Research shows that cortisol (stress hormone) inhibits brain development.  No thanks!

People have a lot of wide-ranging opinions about the negative consequences of this, most of which are obviously not true.

For instance, “You’ll never be able to have a relationship with your husband” is proven untrue by the obvious fact that we have had more children.  (*ahem*)

Some are more subtle, so harder to debate/defend on short notice.  The most common ones are variations on a theme:

• “You’ll spoil them”
• “They need to learn how to be alone”
• “They’ll always be clingy / insecure”
• “You have to teach them to respect your needs”

Attachment Parenting philosophy, Bible teaching, and modern science, all dispute these notions.  People cling to them, though, and – I believe – use them to justify what simply amounts to what they want for themselves.

Let me just tell you that for me, working in the church nursery has given me all the “evidence” I need that my way is NOT wrong.  It breaks my heart sometimes…

But from the other side, I have been delighted lately to have had not one but several women who teach Jewel’s age group make a point of coming up and talking to me about her.

• “She’s always so happy!”
• “She’s an eager participant, and a delight to have in class!”
• “She never cries and makes a fuss when you drop her off.”

What a joy! 

Of course, I’m not shy in pointing out that the reason she is so secure as a 4 year-old is because I made her feel secure as a 1 year-old, 2 year-old, and 3 year-old by never forcing her to stay alone in the nursery.  She has a secure base from which to explore the world at her own pace, and trusts that I will always be there if there was a problem.

A little validation goes a long way…

Miss J was sitting on the couch drawing on her drawing pad while I worked on the computer.

After a while, she came over to show me her latest masterpiece. She explained,

It’s Jesus, the cross, and His tomb.

I am so blown away!

We’ve started a “Chip-In” campaign to make it easier for friends, family and any other mysterious allies to help support Nick’s musical endeavors.

You can visit the campaign’s Information Page, or click below to contribute securely through PayPal.

We thank you sincerely for your help. Participating in Marching Band is a wonderful experience for Nick, and one which will hopefully lead to a college scholarship. But boy is it expensive!

I have posted several times on the issues surrounding babies and church-going (the latest is here).  Recently, a comment was added, reading,

I hear your stated needs, but I just wanted to say that a cry room doesn’t seem to me to be any better than having a recording of the service played at home. There is no opportunity for you to sing, haul out your Bible and read, greet, and share in communion when you’re behind glass or in another room. I just can’t see how this is teaching kids anything…

Forgive me for being so forward, but I say let the nursery and children’s church workers teach your kids in those “age appropriate ways”. Your baby doesn’t want to be in church. He wants to play on a floor somewhere. Let him. And let the other people worship uninterrupted.

Church is supposed to be a family, too, and that family deserves the chance to be together, focused, for just one hour a week, don’t they? That’s hard to do with babies crying and children making even innocent disruptions. Satan will use any distraction he can to get people away from hearing the word, even perfectly innocent ones.

I just wanted to put out a counter argument here. It’s a hard, gutwrenching issue for some people, and my heart goes out to you.

Since this seems like a reasonable person’s thoughts, but also seems to be entirely missing my point, I thought I would take this opportunity to explain some of my ideas further.

Let me break it down and address some of the points individually.

… a cry room doesn’t seem to me to be any better than having a recording of the service played at home. There is no opportunity for you to sing, haul out your Bible and read, greet, and share in communion when you’re behind glass or in another room. I just can’t see how this is teaching kids anything…

There are several important distinctions between a cry room and a CD played at home (or walking the halls, as we currently do, for that matter):

• First of all, you would presumably go into the service, sing, read, participate – and help children learn to do so.  Only if a small child was unable to stay would a strategic retreat to the cry room be called for.  You could also return if the issue was resolved, the child fell asleep, etc.
• With the sevice piped in, and possibly with video feed or a view through glass, we can absolutely sing and worship!  (And teach the kids to do so).
• We get to greet and visit with other church members before and after service.  After all, you shouldn’t be doing that during service, anyway!
• Communion would be given to those in the cry room who felt they were able to be ready – just as the elements are taken to the Pastor and the pianist.
• The children are learning more than you imagine – Simply getting up Sunday morning and getting dressed up and out the door.  The fact that Mama and Papa love and respect God enough to go through whatever it takes to worship Him in His house on the Sabbath.  Sitting quietly through service (see my first point).  Hearing the music, singing the songs (see above), praying corporately.

Okay, I’m sure I could list some more, but let’s move on…

I say let the nursery and children’s church workers teach your kids in those “age appropriate ways”.

I adore and admire the people who serve in the nursery and teach Children’s Church.  And once my kids are comfortable staying in either one, I welcome them doing so.

Jewel, at 4, goes into Sunday School at 9 am and we pick her up after service at noon.  They transition them straight from Sunday School classes to Children’s Church, and everything is wonderful.

But I was charged by God, personally, with training up my children (I say “I” here because I am writing this alone, but this is a conviction shared, prayed over, and championed 100% by my husband).  I do not send them to Day Care or Preschool during the week, for the very reason that I do not choose to abdicate my God-given responsibility for shaping their values and character, as well as educating them.

We do not find evidence in the Bible that nursing babies should be forcibly kept away from their mothers.  Even in the Old Testament where we see a very young child taken to the Temple for a life of service there, he stayed with his mother until weaning (probably age three or four).  A little research into psychology’s Attachment Theory, and the whole Attachment Parenting movement, shows that even secular science recognizes this bond.

Your baby doesn’t want to be in church. He wants to play on a floor somewhere. Let him. And let the other people worship uninterrupted.

Church is supposed to be a family, too, and that family deserves the chance to be together, focused, for just one hour a week, don’t they? That’s hard to do with babies crying and children making even innocent disruptions. Satan will use any distraction he can to get people away from hearing the word, even perfectly innocent ones.

Exactly.  That’s why I need a cry room! 

I absolutely want to keep the baby from disrupting the service.

But should my husband and other children not go to Sunday School because there is no place for me to go with the baby?  Should all four of us miss out on church altogether?  Don’t we deserve the support of our brothers and sisters so that we can worship and study together, too?

Worship should also be far more than one hour a week.  My old pastor always used to say, “It takes tree to thrive” – three church services a week, in addition to your daily quiet time in the word, your family devotional time, your service time, and your prayer “without ceasing.”  Maybe if you’re doing more, you don’t feel as “deprived” if for a few seconds there is a distraction?

I would also ask you to run that sentiment through a WWJD filter. 

Would you not welcome into your church the mentally disabled man who sings at the top of his lungs, off-key?  Or the homeless man, who smells offensive to you?

On second thought, this WWJD Filter opens up a whole avenue of discussion which I would like to table for a folow-up post.

Stay Tuned!

High Fructose Corn Syrup (HFCS) has been getting a lot of press lately.

It’s getting more and more negative attention in health-conscious circles, and more and more “fighting back” from the usual suspects (manufacturers that make it, use it, etc.).  Yes, the Corn Refiners Association is running two television spots, and has a whole website up about the benign and wonderful HFCS.

From my (admittedly brief) survey, some of the causes for concern that are frequently raised are:

• Extra high levels of fructose, which are bad for diabetics, and may even contribute to causing diabetes.
• Made from corn with is typically geneticaly modified.
• Two of the enzymes used to create it (yeah, it’s a big chemical process), are genetically modified.
• Increasing concern about corn farming in general – economically, environmentally, etc.
• It is simply so processed (see above), when many of us are trying to eat more naturally
• Perhaps least-scientific but most-cited: It’s a weird, toxic thing that makes kids act crazy!
• At least one study found that there was Mercury in nearly half of the HFCS samples tested! (cited in the Washington Post).

For some in-depth reading on some of these, check out The Double Danger of High Fructose Corn Syrup, and The Murky World of High-Fructose Corn Syrup at the Weston A. Price Foundation website.

We have had a few instances lately when it was crystal clear that HFCS was the culprit in some troublesome issues.  We’re going to keep a food log and track more cloesly what other relationships there may be, even though we’re working hard to eliminate it from our diet.

• Wolf gets his ulcer-like stomach pains after drinking YooHoo, which is very high in HFCS. 
• Jewel gets stomachaches on a semi-regular basis right after eating… and we are noticing a connection to the amount of HFCS consumed.
• Jewel becomes a totally zoned-out zombie if she eats a high HFCS “treat” after dinner or at any other vulnerable time.

As one article pointed out, it’s hard to even gauge how much we’re getting, since it’s SO prevalent:

• Ketchup, for goodness’ sake! 
• Cheerios are fine, it’s mostly those highly-sugared cereals that we don’t eat anyway that have it.  but my Frosted Mini-Wheats do, too!
• Obviously cookies and candy bars mostly use it…  but so do “health food” protein bars and granola bars.

We are striving to eat more foods in as close to their natural state as possible, cook more, etc., so that should go a long way…

I mean, yeah, I feel like that all the time, but… It’s Nick’s schedule that actually has me at my wits’ end just now.

Maybe we’re just “spoiled” from being used to homeschooling, but I seriously cannot see how to make his schedule really workable. This school year is almost over, but hey – there’s still three more years of High School to go!

The school day is from 7:30 am to 2:30 pm.

To be at school on time, he has to catch a bus at 6:15. The bus stop is just over 2 miles from our house, and the bus seems to arrive at a variable enough time that we have to take that into account, too. So Nick leaves here on his bike around 5:40 – 5:45.

That means he has to get up at 4:45. AM. That is EARLY for him, let me tell ya!

So that means he has to go to bed early. To get eight hours, for instance, he’d have to be asleep at 8:45 pm.

Wolf goes to bed early, since his baker’s schedule means he starts work at 5 am, so we’ve just put the whole family on “early to bed.”

But then there’s just not enough time in the evening!

Nick gets home shortly before 4 pm after the bus and bike trip home. Here’s the schedule I concocted to try and fit everything in:

3:45 Put away bike, drink of water, etc.
3:55 Set up for practice
4:00 Practice clarinet
4:30 As needed: Add’l clarinet; homework; help with dinner prep
5:00 FAMILY DINNER
5:30 Dinner clean up / dishes (or homework if needed)
6:00 Homework; pack up books for next day
6:30 Homework review; planner review (w/Mama or Papa)
6:45 Empty trash; trash cans in or out as needed
7:00 Scoop cat boxes; check cat food & water
7:15 Clean room (laundry out to laundry room as needed)
7:30 Shower
7:50 Brush teeth; pj’s on; clean up bathroom
8:00 In bed; Devotional
8:15 Quiet reading
8:30 Lights out

In theory, it works out okay, down to the minute. (Except on Wednesdays, when we have church).

But real life somehow never does work…

It’s not that he has hours of homework that we struggle to get done. Nor, as you can see, does he have a ton of chores or other responsibilities during the week.

It’s just… It’s just…

Well, I don’t know! What IS it?

And naturally, if we decide we need to do an errand after school… ACK!

For us, Easter is all about celebrating the birth of Christ. But that doesn’t mean we don’t do anything fun! As usual, we had a great time dying eggs.

Jewel was most delighted with simple, bright jewel-tones (go figure!). She drew a Christian fish on the one in her right hand, and on her left hand and arm you can see where all the orange dye went (hint: NOT on the eggs!)…

Jewel's Easter Eggs

Nick did some gorgeous “tie-dye” style creations, using rubber bands around the eggs.

Nick's Easter Eggs

Wolf did some fun designs with wax prior to dying, including this Confederate flag:

Wolf's Easter Eggs

Me? I mostly wrangled R.T.

But, as always – What do you do with all those eggs once the egg hunting is over?

Lots of Easter Eggs!

My family’s favorite is a dish from my childhood – Creamed Egg on Toast.

I started with a recipe from my favorite “basics cookbook”:

Bechamel Sauce (your basic white sauce), Egg Version

• 1/4 c. butter
• 1/4 c. flour
• 1/2 t. salt
• 1/4 t. pepper
• 1 t. dry mustard
• 2 c. milk
• 2-3 chopped or sliced hard-boiled eggs

In a medium saucepan, melt butter.  Blend in flour, salt, pepper, and dry mustard (if you don’t have any, a squirt from the mustard bottle in the fridge works!).  Cook until mixture is smooth and bubbly; gradually add milk.  Heat until mixture boils and thickens, stirring constantly (I use a whisk).  (Be patient, this does take a while!).  Stir in eggs and allow to heat through.

For our family of 4 1/2 I make a batch double that size, with considerably more pepper (I don’t measure), and 8-12 eggs (we do chopped).

Toast enough bread to serve each adult 2 slices, and each kid 1 (obviously, you can determine for yourself how much everyone needs to eat!), then spoon the creamed egg mixture over it.

All you need is a salad or veggie, and you’re set!

A friend told me that her family chops up the toast, as well, and calls the dish “Woodchuck.” I like the toast bits idea, but I think they should work on the name.

Want some more egg recipies? Check out The Incredible Edible Egg, and The Parent Bloggers Network.

I was recently challenged to write a post about one of my kids’ unquie style.  Of course, Pretty Princess Jewel sprang immediately to mind – and in fact I recently blogged about her adorable Princess-ness, here.

She’s a little lady however she’s dressed, even if it’s her cool camo skirt and sneakers, or a Renaissance Fair costume…

…But her true nature shines through most clearly when she’s really dressing up.

I usually have trouble finding things in her size that are long enough for our standards of modesty, and I spend a lot of time taking in waists of skirts in silly sizes like 14 (she’s a 5, maybe 6).  This is, obvously, a big motivation for my learning to sew.

So I was really excited to see that the summer collection at The Children’s Place (my longtime favorite pajama store!) features a bunch of pretty skirts that are “below the knee” fit!  YAY!

A clothing line is holding a casting call for a Pretty Princess? 

Have I got a Jewel for them!

Jewel is the “Picture Princess” – just ask her!  She delights in dressing up, tea parties, and pretty clothes.  A free spirit, Jewel enjoys dancing, twirling around, and posing for pictures, while her intellectual side leads her to rhyming games, memory challenges, and fantastic feats of logic.  Her tall, slim physique, silky blonde hair and brown eyes, and adorable dimples make her truly a “picture perfect princess.”

Spring Princess

Ballet Princess

Renaissance Princess

Chck out all the little girls and girls dresses from shabby baby.  This one would be so beautiful on Jewel – I think the side ties are an adorable touch:

Thank you for considering Princess Jewel, Shabby Baby!