Life on the Road

Thursday (March 17) started out like any other day, and I had a long list of errands for the kids and I to accomplish…

I sat at the couch at the computer to check my email while I nursed R.T., and Jewel sat behind me and played with my hair.  Then Jewel screamed…

She had climbed up onto the arm of the couch, then fallen off into the narrow space between the couch an the end table (metal and glass, yikes!).

I quickly detached R.T. and laid him in a safe spot on the couch next to me, while calling Nick to come grab him.  Then I reached over to extricate Miss J from her landing place.

Although she was very upset, there was nothing obviously amiss.  She wasn’t bleeding, and all her parts seemed functional.  She said that she didn’t hit her head, and what hurt worst was her right arm (she seemed to indicate elbow).

I gave her some children’s Tylenol, then nursed her.  I became concerned when she sat up from laying in my lap, screamed, and clutched her right arm against her chest.

Watching her try to hold the arm still just really set off my “mom radar,” and I decided there was no harm in taking her in for an X-Ray.  Heck, we knew the pediatric ER was actually a pretty nice place! 

I called Wolf to let him know what we were up to.  We had to swing by Knaus Berry Farm anyway to drop off the sodas he was supposed to bring for a coworker’s birthday lunch, and I wasn’t too surprised to see him standing outside ready to go with us when we got there.  (Heck, when you start work at 5 am, by 11 you’re mostly done anyway!)

We made the now-familiar trek to the Homestead Hospital ER, and signed her in.  As before, we quickly received a private room in the “Speediatric” ward.  The nurse brought Jewel some liquid Motrin, as well as baby-strength Tylenol with Codeine!  Yikes!

They brought in the very cute giraffe-painted portable X-Ray machine.  The techno-geeks in Wolf and I were fascinated - it’s all DIGITAL!

But back to reality, where Jewel is screaming hysterically, and I’m being told to hold her arm “like this”… 

Then we waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Then, to our dismay, they wheeled the giraffe back in, declaring that they needed three views of the wrist specifically. 

These were even harder than the first set.

I’m surprised they could see anything, and the doc did indicate that they weren’t the clearest…

But they said she had a small fracture of the distal radius where it meets the wrist.  They fixed her up in a splint (cool piece that hardened after they conformed it to her body) wrapped with an Ace bandage.  We then had to follow up with the Orthopedic Surgeon.  (Luckily the insurance referrals and what-not were fairly simple.)

Lots of chewable Tylenol and Motrin to get us through until Monday (March 21)… 

The Orthopedic Surgeon was a great guy, and said he had a granddaughter Jewel’s age.

He X-Rayed her wrist, and after talking to us, her elbow.  By now she was calm, and this all went smoothly.

Guess what?  No break!

The doc said that in the ER they will always make the “better safe than sorry” call in that situation, and that the splint was actually probably great for the sprain/strain/contusions she did have.

So the splint is off, and she is much happier…

Just another week in our house.  Stay tuned, it keeps coming!

Last week we had to go back to the ER - this time for Nick.

He’d been complaining of sharp pain in his shoulder for about a week, and it seemed to be getting worse rather than better.  I called his doctor, but they said that they would only have to refer us for an X-Ray, so we might as well just go to an Urgent Care or ER.

So back we went to Homestead Hospital, but this time we were quickly called from the waiting room into “Speediatrics,” the separate pediatric ER ward.

Triage and admitting were done right there in our private room, where we were watching TV and relaxing in between.  We saw the doc, they took Nick for an X-Ray, and we saw the doc again.

Diagnosis:  ACL - a minor separation of the collarbone from the shoulder. 

It’s usually a sports injury, so there’s really no telling how Nick did it. 

He has ibuprofin and a sling - mostly for his own amusement - and it’s supposed to just heal on its own in a week or so.

Whew, that trip wasn’t so bad!

Nick has been accepted to Coral Reef, the exclusive Performing Arts Magnet High Schhol he auditioned for last month!

What a thrill for him to open that letter and know that he was a “first-round draft pick”!  

They run a summer school program for incoming kids called “Ready for the Reef,” which I think will be especially helpful since he will not just be new to High School, and to their “fast paced, academically demanding environment,” but will be transitioning from homeschooling.

Big changes…

We’re SO pround of Nick, though.  Less than 1 in 3 applicants to the Music programs there are invited to attend, so he really showed some talent!

If he will continue to develop his talent, we really do believe God has given him a gift that will take him far (including college scholarships!)…

Yep, RT is a month old now…  Time sure flies!

He weighs 12 1/2 pounds, so obviously things are going well for him. 

I guess any worries anyone may have had about tandem nursing can be put to rest. 

Frankly, having two in diapers has been a much bigger source of stress and frustration for me this past month… 

I was pleasantly surprised when I was emailed by Ms. Fox’s “people” asking if I’d be interested in having her guest post on my blog.  I think they were even more surprised when I told them they’d have to send me a copy to read first.  Who am I to be so demanding, right? 

Well, I’m delighted that I made the request, because the book is wonderful… the whole idea is wonderful…  It addresses many of the issues I have been frustrated with in the school system (some of the reasons we homeschool) - like the fact that “No Child Left Behind” works out to be “No Child Allowed to Excel.”

Since I am still recovering from my illness (more on that later!), I’m going to let Ms. Fox’s prepared Q&A give you the basics.  Be sure to read to the end for the low-down on the Book Give-Away!

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1. What is the premise of YOUR CHILD’S STRENGTHS? The premise of Your Child’s Strengths is that when you focus on developing and utilizing children’s strengths rather than spending all your time trying to fix, or remediate weaknesses, they grow up to be happier, healthier and more productive citizens.  Additionally, the book is a call to action, claiming that the single biggest issue facing America’s future is the education of our young people. The time for change in our educational system is now, and every day more and people see that is the case. I believe the Strengths Movement will play a very important role in the new system that emerges. Your Child’s Strengths provides parents, teachers and schools clear and practical direction to take in building upon children’s strengths.  
2. How did you come about creating this program?   I have spent twenty-five years as an educator and throughout that time, I have always been a champion for the underdog. This means that where others saw weaknesses in people, I sought out the strengths and in was able to find them. When I arrived at Purnell School, the school was failing as a business and I was determined to make it successful, I built a program that turned away from trying to fix what was wrong and sought, instead, to build on the inherent strengths that were in place. This began to work, and because it worked so well, and school began to thrive so successfully, I developed a program that would also work on the students. So, I started to develop it from the outside in. I began by created a strengths program for the school culture and then wrote the actual four-year curriculum for all of the students to take.  
3. What kind of student were you? I was a great student in grammar school when it was all about learning and pleasing the teacher. In high school, I was a terrible student. I was not engaged, played the system as much as I could and received less than mediocre grades. I was bored by school and distracted by other things going on in my life. When I got to college, I realized that I actually liked to learn and I ended up doing well when I was able to direct my attention to things I felt were going to be meaningful later on in life. I ended up getting two graduate degrees, which I am sure would greatly surprise most of my high school teachers.  
4. You run a girls school in which you have implemented this program. What has the response been among the students, teachers, and parents?  The students love the classes! They feel the Affinities Program in general and the whole philosophy of the school has created a safe haven for them, while challenging them to be their best selves.  I know this because they give speeches about it and talk to me often about their strengths. The teachers also enjoy learning about their strengths. They have a whole professional development program built around developing their own strengths. We also have a personal leadership program that Mike Morrison, the Dean of the University of Toyota created for our teachers that works along the same thematic lines as the Affinities Program. He made it after reading the program. Many of our teachers volunteered to be part of the piloting of this year. Finally, I held a workshop with parents about discovering their own strengths a few weeks ago. My living room on campus was full. I’ll tell you what, this is like some secret sauce and everyone seems to want to taste it.   
5. What are some other areas in which this program is beneficial? I have been contacted by everyone from social services to foster care, to the people from the juvenile justice system about how they can use strengths development and the Affinities Program in particular, to help the people they serve. Many churches, camps and youth groups have also contacted me. The ideas that are in the book can be used with all kinds of groups of people. Doctoral and masters candidates in both the field of teacher preparation and positive psychology have contacted me about using the book and its ideas for classes, for teacher training, and for study for their thesis papers and dissertations. UNICEF has contacted me about using the ideas in the book to develop whole programs to be distributed to their human resource department because they believe that when their worker’s families are taken care of and healthy, then the worker will be more productive. So, it seems to me there are endless uses for the idea in this book. 
6. How do you think the larger community can function within the larger auspices of your program?  Is there any outreach that exists between your school and local community groups for instance?  Currently, there are a lot of different groups of people who are reaching out to me, to the school and to the Strengths Movement as unfolds in schools. People from the Positive Change Corps and the Taos Institute, for example, have met with me to begin planning an international conference on Strengths to change the k-12 system. Employees from Best Buy, have visited the school several times to determine how as a corporations they can link in with the school and the strengths agenda to advance their own social responsibility program that focuses on teenagers.  Schools from all over the country and in fact, the world have called us to see if they come and observe what we are doing, and asking if I can and speak to them.  Schools in California, New Zealand and Canada have requested information. I am also working with the Kellogg Foundation on creating a tool that will assess the strengths (among other things) of drop-outs and be used to determine lost or hidden talent that may help them enter the workforce as productive workers without a degree.  
7. How can we utilize your methods as parents when helping our children set limits? This is a great question.  I think that when children push limits it is because they are testing parents. My experience tells me that kids want both limits and boundaries. When these things are not in place is when kids go a little (and sometimes a lot) nuts. When kids push and break the boundary, the best thing a parent can do is get the child to accept responsibility for the action, engage in a constructive consequence and have a conversation about those behaviors are not going to create a positive life for the child. Parents fall short of this approach when they immediately give out a punishment, and don’t have genuine follow through conversations that refocus behaviors on choices and options having to do with strengths. Good discipline takes time.   
8. What is the earliest age at which teachers and parents can start incorporating your methods? How would this differ for elementary age children versus. high school kids for instance? Strengths can be developed in children at all ages. It begins with noticing what children’s natural tendencies are and helping children to understand what differentiates them from other people. Elementary children should be offered choices and have a say in deciding he things they wish to do. This is often very difficult for parents who have a lot of expectations for their kids. When kids re in high school parents can begin to really engage them in conversations about what makes them feel strong and energized. This is very different than what they are good at doing. Some kids are “good” at doing a lot of things, but not all those activities energize them. It helps if people are able to figure out what truly energizes them. I think that can be determined by looking at how much time a person is willing to spend engaged in any one activity.  
9. What are five things parents of any age child can do right now to help their children develop their strengths? 1)       Give children choices for making decisions which effects their lives. 2)       Listen to what they say about what they like rather than offering advice about you, the adult prefers.3)       Establish routines in the home where each child picks a preferred chore or activity. This will build a sort of discipline around a choice about you like to do within a larger context of something you may have not enjoyed. For example, have the kids help clean the kitchen, but let them choose which part of that task they prefer to do.4)       Talk about your child’s strengths and talk about the strengths of other people you know.5)       Find a successful adult who shares your child’s strengths and encourage that person as a role model.  
10. Do you have numbers for Purnell graduates who have gone to 4 -year colleges? Any case studies?     Over the past 10 years, 99% of Purnell students have been accepted to 4 -year colleges. In the past five years, 100% of the girls have been accepted and 98% have matriculated. Among these schools are Vassar, Smith, Alfred, Drew, Muhlenberg, Linn,  Fashion Institute, Savannah School of Art and Design. There are so many case studies of Purnell Graduates, but one of my favorite is about a girl named Alexandra Spaulding. This is a young woman who came to Purnell from Buffalo New York. When she arrived, she was really unhappy and kind of lost. Her mother says, she was unsure she would ever get through high school, or ever get her life together. She discovered a real strength in art, specifically photography. A lot of times, kids who struggle in a traditional classroom do so because they have a different kind of brain. They are very often quite creative. Well, this girl was one of those. Once she discovered her strength in photography, she followed that passion and worked very hard to develop it into something that would work for her for the rest of her life. She went on after college to attend the Glasgow School of Art and after receiving a master’s degree, she went on to get a PHD and is now a photography professor. This is one of many, many stories about Purnell graduates.   
11. I was intrigued by The Affinities Program as preparation for the workplace and was wondering about the top 10 most sought after jobs today, none of which existed in 2004. What are they? Where did this information come from.  In a widely distributed video called “Shift Happens”, there are dozens of facts cited and among them is a statement made by former Secretary of Education, Richard Riley, who was quoted as saying that by 2010, the 10 most sought after jobs will not have existed in 2004.” Today, some of the top majors in college confirm this statistic. Some majors today that didn’t exist in the last decade are: new media, organic agriculture, e-business, nano-technology, and Homeland Security.  The point of this is that we cannot prepare students for jobs that don’t yet exist, but we can make sure they know what their strengths are so that no matter opportunities arise, they can put them to use. The thing about developing strengths, is that we are looking to develop very specific categories of activities and skills that energize a person. Oddly enough, the more specific one is in identifying this, the more places it can be applied.  For example, if I say I have a strength in organizing, I am being very general and I may not have any taste for organizing spaces with things. However, I may narrow that understanding to “I have a strength in organizing events.”  When someone identifies this so specifically, it is what I call a Strengths Epiphany and it can be applied to a variety of jobs and situations.   
12. Is developing strengths only for struggling students? No, It is important for everyone, and most especially or students who very talented at many things. One of the problems we have with high achievers is this drive for what I label “unspecified achievement”.  This is the drive for high achievement in everything in order to be competitive. I find this to be really debilitating to our brightest and most talented kids, as well as everyoneelse.  What it lacks is any kind of focus on helping students discern the kinds of learning experiences that inspire them.  This leads to a generalized sense of anxiety among children when they reach college. You can tell this from the fact that in the nation’s most competitive colleges, the fastest growing department is mental health services.  If children are able to figure out what strengthens them, they will be better able to find a meaningful path and carve out a future from that.    

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Would you like to win a free copy to read for yourself?

For one entry, just leave a comment below with your thoughts about the book or its premise from the tidbits above - what intrigues you? what reings true? what makes you wonder? or ??

For a second entry, post a link to this review/contest on your blog, then come back and leave a comment letting me know (in a separate comment from your first!).

I will “draw” a winner at random on Saturday, April 12th.  If the winner does not leave contact info, or does not get back to me within three days, I will draw someone else…

Good luck!

We were very sad yesterday to say goodbye to one of our “fearsome foursome” of kittens, when Jesus took Miss Nicki home.  (Please, no theological debate…)

If you missed the story of how they were orphaned, saved from fumigation, and came to invade our home, there’s words and pictures posted from last summer.

They’re only about 8 months old, so losing her to a wasting illness was not what we’d imagined for the immediate future.  She passed peacefully in her sleep.

 Jewel is really having a hard time coping.  However much she does or doesn’t understand, she’s hysterically certain that she is not okay with Nicki being any kind of “gone.”

Here are the most recent photos of the gang, watching “Cat TV” out the screen door - Nicki is second from right.  She was the most beautiful of the three calico girls, and the most classically “cat” personality of all six of our feline houseguests.

And seven months ago, the furball that came into our lives:

.

Goodbye, Nicki.  We will miss you…

I’m not as crunchy as all that, but organic cotton baby clothes are SO soft and yummy…

I’ve gotten three baby gifts full of the stuff, two of which were Under the Nile brand.  This little shirt is the cutest thing, and a neat wrap style (and came with pants):

(click to enlarge)  

There’s a great selection at one of my favorite online baby stores, Babynut. 

(Proving that my business networking groups serve a useful purpose even when I’m not really “business networking”: I discovered Babynut by meeting the owner in one, as well as receiving the second adorable gift from her store from someone else in the group!)

Writing up the birth story is not going as fast as one might hope…  Ah, well.  At least you can see Mr. Handsome now! 

(Click on the thumbnail to view them full size)

Here’s the whole family:

Mr. RT:

Our three Blessings:

…and my favorite photo of the bunch:

We are back from an early morning visit to the maternity center. I’m sure Tiffany will go into detail about everything, so I’ll just say … IT’S A BOY !!!

I am a proud father of this 9 lb 7 oz baby boy born at 7:32 est. We are now back home resting.

By Gods grace everything went fantastic.

Just so that we’re all on the same page, here are the definitions on the movie rating classifications straight from the MPAA

The first thing that I found interesting is that the PG-13 rating contains very absolute and specific standards - right down to “which word” and “how many times.”

None of the other ratings have anything concrete.  This means that it’s up to the shifting standards of the “panel of parents” who are assigning the ratings.

Take Cinderella.  Rated G.  No sex.  No foul language.  Violence limited to wicked step-sisters ripping sash off dress, and stepmother tripping the Page with the glass slipper.  Intense and scary scene - ummm… well, it’s creepy when you first see the stepmother in bed and it’s all dark…  Right.  No biggie.  Very “G”.

Now there’s Ratatoille.  Everyone said it was a good movie, and it’s rated G, so surely it will be okay to watch as a family.

Ummmm, no.

It starts with a woman with a shotgun blowing up her house in an attempt to kill the rats - who are already established as our cute, furry “good guys.”  Then our hero is separated from his family, goes through a dark and frightening almost-drowning rapids experience in the sewer…  And that’s all in the first ten minutes.

Jewel cried, and pretty much the whole rest of the movie was spent either watching bad things happen or worrying about bad things happening.  <sigh>

A “G” rating from today is not the same as a “G” rating from the days of yore…  The standards of society have changed, and the ratings board reflects that.

But how accurate a measure of even society’s standards are they?  Who are these “parents” on the ratings board?  Who chooses them, and how?

I found it very interesting when my Blockbuster Online membership asked me for a rating, what the other user reviews said.  I found MANY other parents that felt the movie amply warranted a PG rating for the violence.  So apparently we are not as far out of the mainstream as we thought, and perhaps it is the ratings board that missed the boat.

Hmmmm….