Life on the Road

Breech! 

Well, the good news is that Baby Blessing is healthy and has all the appropriate parts, AND that there are no fibroids apparent that should interfere with delivery in any way.

The bad news is, in spite of the fact that at both of my last two appointments the midwives palpated and told me she (that being still a pronoun of convenience, not a fact) was head-down…  Baby Blessing is sitting snugly breech. 

Granted, at 31.2 weeks, there’s still time and room for her to turn over.  And Miss Jewel layed sideways through my whole pregnancy, and only put her head down in active labor.

So, intellectually, it’s easy to see that I don’t need to worry about it.

But, emotionally, I’m terrified.  If I go to the birth center in labor with a breech, they are required to transfer me to the hospital. 

If I go to the hospital in labor with a breech, they will wheel me into surgery without asking questions.

I kid you not, my midwife had a client recently who came to them with a second baby, after being C-sectioned with her first when she arrived actually pushing with her baby in the birth canal - but breech! 

Luckily, the midwife at least cares.  That woman’s second labor happened in much the same way, but this time she arrived at the birth center with a breech on the way out.  So they complied with the law by dispatching one of the apprentice midwives to SLOWLY go to the office and call the hospital.  By the time they arrived to collect her for the trandfer, the baby had been born.

I think I tried every “home remedy” on the planet to get Miss J to turn during the end of my pregnancy with her:  slant board, headstands, swimming pools, shining a light down where her head should be, having Papa talk to her down there, some Oriental Medicine remedy that involved burning a specific incense-like thing near a spot on my little toe, putting an ice pack on her head…  Did I miss any? 

She apparently wasn’t impressed.

Luckily, my midwife’s backup ob - with whom we consulted a couple of times because of the issue - was a very seasoned, very laid-back man.  He was actually trained to deliver a breech baby, and did so in the past, which is something not even covered in “modern” ob training.  Anyhow, he assured me that secod and later babies will often “hang out” in a comfy position rather than putting their head down at the time first babies typically do, but will typically move it on down once labor starts.  Since the uterus has already “been there, done that,” there’s not the same kind of spatial urgency, aparently. 

So, again, intellectually, I can reason that there will probably be no problem at all.  But, boy…  Pregnancy emotions are no time to have to worry about things like this…

I’m a big fan of La Leche League, and I’ve often wished there was more I culd do to support them than just my annual membership dues and the occasional volunteer project.  Well I just got an email from them listing a whole bunch of creative ways to help!

Some are the now-popular internet choices like shopping through their affiliate links.  Some are really simple and free - like using a certain search engine!  And if your employer participates in the CFC, or matches funds, you’re in really good shape! 

Check out this list:

• Buy LLLI intimate apparel and baby clothes at www.llliclothes.com. This is our own brand, developed  using LLLI Leaders and volunteers .

• Combined Federal Campaign - New Campaign Number
  If your employer participates in the CFC, please select La Leche League International (CFC # 10495) to support LLLI. Ask your human resources staff to see if you can do this.
• Shop at Amazon.com and Support LLLI
  Visit the Freepledge.com site and shop as you normally would at Amazon, and support LLLI at the same time. It’s easy! Holiday idea: Festive purchases you’d be making anyway can help LLLI. Learn more.. .
• iGive.com
  This program generates funds for LLLI when you purchase items from a long list of companies, many of which you may already be patronizing! Holiday idea: Festive purchases you’d be making at many websites you already patronize can help LLLI. Learn more…
• Good Search
  There is new and easy way to raise money just by searching the Internet with GoodSearch.com. It’s simple. You use GoodSearch.com like any other search engine — the site is powered by Yahoo! — but each time you do, money is generated for LLLI. We hope that not only will you use GoodSearch as your main search engine from here on out, but will also pass this message on to your friends and family. The more people who use this, the more money will go to LLLI.
• i.think inc.
  Through this program, you fill out confidential surveys and earn money for La Leche League. Learn more…
• LucyShares
  This program is part of LatchOn.org, and connects needy LLL Groups with sources of materials. Learn more…
• Matching Funds
  Does your employer match funds when you contribute to a nonprofit organization? Check our list of companies that match funds to see if you are able to increase your giving in this way!

And if you are (or know!) a breastfeeding mom, or expectant mom, the place to start is La Leche League.  Lots of online resources, plus a way to search for a local meeting near you.

Okay, we’re in the last trimester… How about a Baby Pool, just for fun?

Enter your predictions about Baby Blessing here:

Since I’m sure someone’s going to ask, here’s the back story.  One boy and one girl so far.

Jewel’s info:

• Due 5/3/05, born 5/1/05 at 6:56 pm
• 20″ long
• 8 lbs. 12 oz. 

I don’t have Nick’s baby book handy, but it is VERY similar.  I seem to recall him saying he was a tad longer, but she weighed a few ounces more.  Nick was born on his exact due date, around 2 pm.

We don’t do ultrasound (that’s a story for another post), so the gender really is a mystery.

Happy guessing! 

So, after the Horrific Hospital Tour, and the relief of hearing about some options at my LLL meeting, hope was restored.

Sunday after church Wolf took us on a wonderful surprise drive.  We went all the way up into Miami (half hour drive) for lunch at Baja Fresh.  (There’s not one nearer to us.  It’s a favorite of mine (and Nick’s), but Wolf doesn’t particularly like it, so we rarely eat there).  Yummmy - and very sweet of him.

Then he revealed Phase II of his Master Plan — we were only a few miles away from Miami Maternity Center, and Sunday is the day they do tours.  (The director, Shari, is Jewish, so they’re closed on Saturdays… unless you go into labor, of course!).

I cannot begin to tell you what a huge burden was removed from my shoulders, essentially from the moment we walked in…

Shari is one of the best-known midwives in the country, and in addition to running the birth center she runs a midwifery training school there.  So there were midvives, student midwives, pregnant mamas, men, women, and children of all ages mingling happily in the outer areas.

First we were shown two movies.  One introduced us to the center, and Shari, and some of her philosophies and policies.  The second was a birth in the outside jacuzzi of the clinic, from just before crowning to the first happy moments with mama and papa holding their new little bundle of joy.

One thing that I suspect is an eye opener for a lot of people was this:  Your ob and hospital make more money the more problems you have, and the more interventions they perform.  On the other hand, Miami Maternity charges a flat fee (which includes even childbirth classes and your prenatal vitamins!), so they make more money by keeping you healthy and having everything go smoothly!

A lovely student named Joelle gave us a tour of the facility.  Prenatal care rooms, postnatal checkup rooms, and in a separate building out back, the actual birthing center.  They have 3 suites set up back there, each including a huge bed and a jacuzzi tub.  They’re never all full at the same time, she assured us, but just in case, Shari’s house (the next building over) is also set up for births, and there are 2 additional suites set up in the new classroom building.  (And if a hurricane is coming, all the imminently due mamas usually go camp out there).

Then we got to have a chat with Shari.  Although she no doubt had many, many things to do - especially as we showed up without an appointment or anything - she took the time to talk with us about all our questions and concerns.  She was very reassuring about my issues with Jewel’s birth, and we both felt confident that we would be in very good hands.

To my delight, she then said, “Do you want to hear the baby?”

Now I am not personally a fan of the doppler.  I am opposed to the gratuitious use of ultrasound, which that is - even at a low dose. 

But, like with Jewel, we wanted the opportunity to hear the heartbeat at least once - it’s such a powerful moment, and so reassuring. 

So Baby Blessing is alive and well - and feisty, as Shari said he (we’ll just go with “he”, to have a pronoun handy) was kicking the doppler!

I’ll have my first “real” appointment probably next week, but it’s such a relief to know that we have such a wonderful place to go…

Specifically, Carla’s Angels.

Let me explain…

When I lost the baby after Nick at 18 weeks pregnant, I was devastated.  My mom bought me an angel pin to wear, to remind me of my little one, in a happy way. 

A decade later, when I got pregnant with Jewel, I was afraid of losing her, too, throughout the pregnancy.  I got a new angel pin symbolize my new little one.  (I guess that might have been depressing, but it was really a comfort).

So now it just seemed like I needed an angel for Baby Blessing.  I started looking around, and Nick started complaining that “all the angels look like GIRLS” … and we all have a feeling that this one might be a boy.

I emailed Carla, and told her my dilema.  She responded by designing a custom not-gender-specific angel pin just for me!

He (or she) is adorable, and is now my constant companion.

Unfortunately he managed to sneak into the laundry, and was actually washed and dried in a none-too-gentle fashion!  And you know what?  He’s still perfect!

Thanks, Carla… 

So we came here because the circumstances were right to settle down while we have a baby.  But of course we had no idea what we were getting into as far as the outlook for having a baby in the state of Florida.

Baptist seems to own almost all the hospitals here, and the description of the Birth Center at the brand-new hospital here in Homestead sounded great.  So we went for a tour.

I was… I don’t think it’s too strong a word… horrified. 

Wolf said it “lived up to every modern birthing horror that you’ve dreamed about in your darkest subconscious recess”, so you see it really wasn’t just my hormones getting the better of me.

Let me share with you just a few of the highlights (lowlights?) of the tour:

• While showing us the labor/delivery room, I noticed that the beds had the connectors for squat bars.  I asked the nurse if the had them available, and she said that, gosh, they must have them somewhere, but they’ve only been in the new building for a few months, and she didn’t know where they were, probably in a storage closet somewhere…
• Hospital policy is for continuous fetal monitoring - so mom is confined to bed upon arrival.
• We arrived at the lounge area near the nurses’ station where she pointed out the microwave (for dad, since you won’t be eating anything), and the fridge, which had juice in it (for dad, since you can’t be having any).  She grudgingly conceeded that I could have ice chips, or we could bring popsicles for me to suck on occasionally.
• She showed us the nursery.  I wanted to clarify that if there wasn’t any emergency, they would never have to take the baby out of my room.  She hemmed and hawed.  This conversation led to the big revelation, when she said, “You know, those people who come in with birth plans [Oooh, the way she said it! Yikes!], 90% of the time they end up with C-sections, because something comes up…”
• We moved on to the recovery rooms.  I said that I’d had two babies already and had never yet seen a recovery room, so I doubted I would stay long enough to need one this time.  She was speechless.  I looked around at the small bed, and spartan room, and asked about rooming in with baby (figured I’d find out, since you never know…).  She off-handedly said that they could certainly bring baby to me there, since they had the wheeled carriages to transport them in…

At the conculsion of this enlightening experience, we asked for a list of ob’s that delivered there.  Wolf asked if she had any recommendations for which ones might be best if we were looking for a more natural birth experience.

She hemmed and hawed some more, and finally just said straight out that most of the doctors in the area were very traditional/conservative, and it was the result of an extremely litigous climate in the state of Florida.  She offered the name of a group of midwives, suggesting we might have better luck with them.

I just stewed for a couple of days.  After the challenges the accompanied Jewel’s birth, I don’t feel comfortable doing a homebirth with this one, so my options were starting to look pretty limited.  This was going to be harder than I thought.

Luckily, the local chapter of La Leche League was meeting that week.  If anyone would know how to have a natural birth in this crazy place, it surely would be them… 

Sure enough, nobody was having any nursing challenges, so the small meeting happily got off topic to discuss births.  All agreed that the lawsuit-happy Floridians had created a very inhosptiable climate in hospitals, and one mom said she had travelled out of state to have a VBAC!

The highlight of the discussion was a new mom’s testimony about the Miami Maternity Center.  But that’s another story…  

Is it too early to be thinking of baby names?  Hey, we’re in the second trimester, okay?!  LOL

We all are going with the “feeling” that this baby is a boy, but of course we have no idea and won’t be finding out until s/he pops out and the mystery is revealed!

The boy’s name is already settled.  We actually chose it as our back-up boy’s name when I was expecting Jewel (since we “felt like” she was a girl from the get-go, it was considered the back-up).  We’ll call him Robert Thomas, after my late father and Wolf’s father.

A girl’s name has us stumped, though.  We were thinking we’d like to use a “virtue” name, and Grace keeps coming up as a likely choice.  We can’t think of anything that sounds good as a middle name with it, though (with the last name Holley).

Any suggestions?

Although Baby Blessing will be our third, in many ways I am going through what many women probably go through with their #2.  Nick is just SO much older (almost 11 years) that a lot of the “two kids” things didn’t apply when Jewel was on the way.

Now I wonder…

• Can I get her potty trained, so I don’t have to deal with two in diapers?
• What will tandem nursing be like?
• How do you really make sure your toddler gets enough attention, with all you have to do for baby?
• What on earth will we do with her during the birth?!

Of course I have some concerns about the birth, as it is.  I’m totally a natural childbirth person - I even got certified as a Bradley Method instructor after Nick was born.  [Birth Story Altert!  Please skip the next paragraph if you’re uncomfortable with such things].

We planned to have Jewel at home, and I got my care from a midwife.  Everything seemed to be going well, and quickly, until we hit transition.  I labored in intense transition for 6 hours, at 9 cm.  We tried everything any of us could think of.  Finally the midwife said it was time, and we hit the road - 45 miles to the hospital (want to talk about a miserable drive!).  We were so blessed that her backup ob (with whom we had met and consulted twice) was on the floor when we arrived.  He’s a Christian and natrual childbirth advocate as well, so he didn’t cop out with “prep for C-section” (not that we would have allowed it, but…).  We had an epidural and pitocin (things I could never DREAM I would have accepted just hours earlier!), and finally it was time.  Unfortunately, doc said my uterus wasn’t doing the job, and if I was going to push her out it was going to be all conscious effort with my abdominal muscles!  I did, and for a week afterward thought I was going to pass out from the pain everytime I moved…

I expect we will face similar hurdles again - not likely that all of that somehow improved in the last 2.5 years, eh?  I’m hoping that going in prepared we can handle it better.  Nick was so easy, the problems just came as a total surprise.

In Other News:

The house hunt continues - we’re going out today with a Realtor to look at some places just West of Dayton.  Every time our “last hope” falls through (That guy who was willing to carry?  Bad neighborhood.  Foreclosure auctions?  They went for Big Money!), God opens a window…

… When it’s not confined to the morning?!

I’m fortunate, I suppose, that I’m not actually “losing my lunch” - but it’s sure no fun to feel like you’re going to all the time.

I wasn’t sick at all with Nick, but it was a lot like this with Jewel…  Maybe just that decade of aging did me in.

Now, of course, I have the added challenge of all the time we spend in the car.  Both as we travel, and as we go out putting out flyers and such for the business (although, of course, Wolf and Nick are doing more of that by themselves these days).  We’re still looking at neighborhoods in Ohio, and thinking seriously that we may settle down here for at least a while.

Toast with peanut butter is my friend.  Canned fruit is good.  Anything else may or may not sit well, depending on the whim of my stomach…  Ginger is good, so I’ve had the occasional Vernor’s or Ale-8-1 to help settle my stomach.

What else works, ladies?  Help me!  LOL

(If you’re so inclined, would you please pray for us?  Nick’s dad has suddenly decided that he no longer likes the agreements we’ve had for years - although he refuses to even discuss what the issues are - and intends to file for a Court hearing.  [sigh])